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Diz Paris: One Year Later, part four

The time has come for a conspiracy theory.

When we finally arrived on Main Street U.S.A. in the Parisian version of Disneyland some time after 11am, we made a beeline for Space Mountain. Bypassing the shops. Failing to compare/contrast this version of old time Americana for Orlando’s. Forgetting there was a dragon in the dungeon of Le Chateau de la Belle au Bois Dormant. Right to Space Mountain or, rather, Space Mountain: Mission 2. And that was in Discoveryland, not Tomorrowland – for there was  no Tomorrowland.

Only Space Mountain: Mission 2 was closed due to some sort of operational malfunction.

Okay, that’s fine. We grabbed a Fast Pass for one hour from now. We crossed through Fantasyland. We rode Les Voyages de Pinocchio and It’s a Small World (as covered in part three), then went back to Space Mountain: Mission 2.

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Still closed.

We crossed back through Fantasyland, went on the ‘not on the agenda’ Pirates of the Caribbean (covered in part five) in Adventureland and had a snack (but not at Colonel Hathi’s Pizza Outpost because that line was slower than Toy Story Mania). We headed to Indiana Jones et le Temple du Peril…

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Which also had just closed due to some sort of operational malfunction.

We headed towards Big Thunder Mountain…

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Which also had just closed due to some sort of operational malfunction.

Now, it seemed a little out of the ordinary that the big three thrill rides in this theme park were all shut down during lunch hour. Or did it not seem out of the ordinary at all? For we were then handcuffed to do the thing that a good majority of guests riding these rides had to do.

We ate lunch. At the Cowboy Cookout Barbecue (not on the agenda – but not bad either).

So, my conspiracy theory? These rides were shut down to drive up the lunch business.

There. I said it. Well, I wrote it…

a diz four

We did eventually achieve the Two Mountain and a Temple Whammy. Indiana Jones et le Temple du Peril was a great roller coaster in that it fit the theme. You felt like you were in an old time steel roller coaster, perilously (see what I did there?) careening through the temple. This made the loop (the first inversion installed in any Disney theme park) all the more terrifying. And, having the attraction just complete refurbishments two months before could have made me feel safer… If I would have known.

Big Thunder Mountain was a great ride due to the ‘not available in Orlando’ additions. You begin on the ‘mainland’ and go under the Rivers of the Far West to reach the mountain. I mean, if you were expecting Tom Sawyer’s Island in this place when arriving to the park without doing any research you might be disappointed. This made for an exciting start to the ride and enhanced what may have been generally perceived as your ordinary Thunder Mountain ride.

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Space Mountain: Mission 2… I will go ahead and say it. Haters can hate. Space Mountain: Mission 2 was the greatest Disney attraction I have ever been on. Originally called De la Terre a la Lune, Mission 2 was established in 2005 following a refurb. It’s no secret that my favorite roller coaster is the Hulk in Islands of Adventure (blasphemy!). As a result, any roller coaster that shoots you out of a canon at a steep angle is instantly great. The fact that the ‘Columbiad’ shoots your coaster from the outside of the mountain into the center of the dome at 40mph? Amazing. I can only equate it to getting an adrenaline shot after an asthma attack as a kid (is that appropriate? I’m not sure). There are three inversions once you’re inside the mountain, and the in ride music score gives the rush an added boost. We ended our day on this very high note, foregoing our fast pass for Peter Pan’s Flight that we had to wait another 90 minutes for.

Note: Mission 2 is no more. The ride has been closed most of this year and will reopen 7/24/15 titled only as Space Mountain.

In part five, pirates and kinda sorta grim grinning ghosts!

Brother Dillo

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